The Motel : Friday Fictioneers

Thanks to the wonderful generosity of Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, we once again have the opportunity of writing a short piece of flash fiction in less than 100 words for Friday Fictioneers, prompted by an image she provides.

Today I’m doing something I’ve never done before, and that is to serialise two pieces of fiction. The day before yesterday we met Olivia, and today I have continued the story later in the day. I hope that the two are independent and both have beginnings middles and ends but I’ll leave you to judge for yourself (here is a link to the earlier story).

PHOTO PROMPT - © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields
PHOTO PROMPT – © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

The Motel

Olivia’s mobile showed 10.23 pm.

She peeked from behind the curtains of the darkened Motel room.

Outside in the car park, the rain dashed against the tarmac while the street lights swayed in the wind.

She scanned the car park for anything out of place.

Was that someone in the driver’s seat of the black hatchback? She couldn’t be sure.

Forced to leave her house earlier and almost captured while evading, she remained constantly alert. This game of Cat and Mouse was making her more and more stressed and agitated.

Her mobile buzzed; a new message.

“Miaow …”

 (97 words)

34 thoughts on “The Motel : Friday Fictioneers

  1. Dear Graham,

    As I try to read all the FF stories every week, it doesn’t leave much time for chasing down serials. Happily this story does stand alone. Love the reference to the game of Cat and Mouse and ending with Meow-type message. I give it two paws up.



    Liked by 2 people

  2. Just because they got her mobile number does not mean they got her whereabouts. So no need to run, just yet 🙂 Unless they are going to GPS track her. In which case she will have to ditch her mobile. I wonder if my comment is 100 words? :/ 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m thinking that if she got a phone call that said, “Miao (Meow)” then that makes her the mouse! Not good! Great story but I generally have a hard time remembering continuations too because of the amount of stories I read each week.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Nery nice story, and I liked the prequel as well. I’m no expert, but I’d say you succeeded in having 2 independent stories and still leaving readers wondering what happens next.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.