The Motel : FFftPP

The Motel

“I am not staying here, honey,” you said, but I was thinking ahead. I felt the cold steel of the blade in my pocket. All I had to do was get you into that room, and then it would be too late.

“We’ll just check it out sweetheart.” The night hid my grim expression and my voice was calm and reassuring. I’d had lots of practice.

We entered and threw the bags onto the bed, the flashing red, white and blue lightbulbs of the motel sign highlighted unnameable stains on the colourless bedlinen.

“I’ll just take a leak,” I said, as I made for the bathroom.

They were far from famous, as last words go.

“Bye bye, honey,” I caught the laugh in your voice, but felt no pain as your bullet entered the back of my head, passed through my skull and embedded itself into the drab wallpaper.

No time to wonder why. No time for regrets.

Time was for the living.

Roger Shipp challenges us each week to write some flash fiction for Flash Fiction for the Purposeful Practitioner with a photo prompt he provides and a few words that we are encouraged, but not obliged, to include somewhere in the story.


  1. The Voice · May 27, 2016

    A reversal of fortune. The hunter became the hunted (I think I’m out of cliche’s now…lol) Nice twist to the story, Graham. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Graham Lawrence · May 27, 2016

      Thanks for reading and commenting. Much appreciated.


  2. angietrafford · May 27, 2016

    That’s a very good reversal, I really enjoyed that 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Graham Lawrence · May 27, 2016

      Thanks Angie. I value your comments as always 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. mandibelle16 · May 29, 2016

    Very cool POV from the husband as victim. I wonder what he did to end up in such a dirty place to die? Have to say his wife is a psycho. Guys often say this about ex’s or etc all the time but this guy was the unlucky guy who really did end up with a psycho. Well told!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Graham Lawrence · May 29, 2016

      Thanks for reading and for your lovely comments.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. luckyjc007 · May 30, 2016

    Very unnerving with a great twist. It just wasn’t his day.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. jademwong · June 1, 2016

    Whoa. Loved that twist. Superbly written.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Felicia Hf · June 2, 2016

    Ooh great twist! Love this!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Graham Lawrence · June 2, 2016

      Thanks for digging down to read!

      Liked by 1 person

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