my500words : Day 23 : Voices

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I drunk the last drops of my coffee, took a deep breath and started to write.

Although the sky was grey, there was just a slight suggestion of pink on the horizon. The wind had dropped, and the long green stalks of summer swayed lazily in the breeze.

He’d left the window wide open, and he watched the night creatures, dazed and dancing behind the window panes, struggle to escape into the freedom of the garden.

The sounds of distant vehicles mingled with the hesitant birdsong of an early summer’s morn.

He pondered over last night events with eyes closed.

Although he’d managed a few hours sleep on the sofa, his body protested in every way it could. It’s less forgiving than it used to be. Nights on the couch were easier when he was a younger man.

He tried to rub some life into his legs, gripped the armrest for support and stood up.

All he wanted to do now, was throw himself under some hot running water …

I felt my wife’s warm hands on my shoulders.

I stopped typing and placed my hands on top of hers.

“You’re up early,” I said.

“I woke with a headache … couldn’t sleep. I thought a few painkillers would help, but now I’m wide awake,” she replied.

“Let’s grab some breakfast. I’ll finish this later.”


I saw she was reading.

She cleared her throat.

“It lacks …” She seemed to be searching for a kind word, ”…punch.”

“I write what I feel.”

“It’s too much like you.” You should be more direct, less … em … flowery.”

“I can only be me.”

“That’s your problem, always sugar coating everything, beating around the bush, never coming to the point.”

“Well, I like finding just the right words, and writing something that conjures up the atmosphere.”

“That’s not how it works. You’ve taken seven paragraphs, and the guy has only woken and stood up. He hasn’t even taken a shower yet.”

She laughed.

“I was writing as I always write. I project myself onto my characters.”

“That’s your problem sweetheart. You have to change voices, and not just use the same voice time after time. We’re not all like you. You’d be better off letting your characters project upon you!”

I reluctantly agreed and nodded.

She kissed me lightly and pulled me gently towards the kitchen.

“Keep on getting up early and writing every day. The rest will just fall into place.”

I sure hoped so.

Todays my500words challenge was to start writing the end and then fill back. This is something I’ll have to do the next time I know for sure the ending of my story!

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