FFfAW – Getting ready to go


Getting ready to go

We were going to the riverfront.

‘Come on Dad,’ implored Daisy stepping on tiptoes and wrapping her arms tightly around my thighs.

‘Woah, I blurted out, as the fully laden shaving brush skidded over my jaw.

’Just let me finish shaving Poppet.’ I said with a foamy smile.

‘We’re going to be late,’ said Daniel, perched on his stool, holding a thick slice of toast, the butter sliding down his chin.

‘Again,’ he added.

‘If you interrupt Dad, we’ll never be ready,’ shouted my wife from the hallway, engrossed in applying her makeup.

I finished gliding the razor over my freshly shaved features and rinsed thoroughly before applying aftershave.

Daniel cried out, ’What’s that?’ Pointing to the wall beside me.

I saw, with terror, a sharp red point of light seeking me through the window from a van parked outside.

I knew in that instant that my past had finally caught up with me.

I took a deep breath in, and the light pierced my eye.

Inevitably, the bullet would follow.

I strayed a little from the photo prompt. I hope you don’t mind. It is a great prompt. Thanks © The Storyteller’s Abode.


  1. Iain Kelly · January 10, 2017

    That nice family scene took an unexpected twist! I hope whatever his past was it warranted destroying a family… Nice one.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Graham Lawrence · January 10, 2017

      I wanted it to come unexpectedly, lull the reader into a false sense of things being normal. I struggled within the constraints of not going over 175 words, which it did 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Iain Kelly · January 10, 2017

        I think you succeeded very well 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Graham Lawrence · January 10, 2017



  2. Priceless Joy · January 10, 2017

    Chilling twist at the end! Such a lovely family picture to start with and murder at the end! Chilling surprise. Great story, Graham!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Graham Lawrence · January 10, 2017

      Thanks Priceless 😉


  3. sailajaP14 · January 11, 2017

    Wow! A tale that makes you believe it’s an ordinary day till the tension grips you and it’s all over! I would like to think he ducked just in time. 😥😅

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Lorraine's frilly freudian slip · January 11, 2017

    What a twist. So lulled into domesticity then wham! And all the questions. Let dead men talk! Great story.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. neelwritesblog · January 11, 2017

    A very every day family scene so rudely interrupted. A very chilling end. Very well written.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Singledust · January 12, 2017

    I was wondering where it was going, with the detailed getting ready. surprised me with the end. Yeah the dark horse lead a shady life that caught up with him. Loved the story.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Graham Lawrence · January 12, 2017

      Glad you liked it and was surprised 😳:)

      Liked by 1 person

  7. lingeringvisions by Dawn · January 15, 2017

    An interesting pace, it feels as if everything is happening in slow motion, as if in a dream.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. michael1148humphris · January 15, 2017

    Spot on, I hope that he dived before to bullet hit home.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Ameena k.g · January 16, 2017

    Oh boy, wasn’t expecting such a tragic ending. I love how you built up the story leading towards the final shot.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Graham Lawrence · January 16, 2017

      Thanks Ameena. So glad you liked it.

      Liked by 1 person

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